Greetings Roughian Readers of all things Fun and Mental and welcome to another episode of Blood Clots! The black scab on the ass of the internet that dares to delve into the underbelly of outlaw pop (or not so pop) culture in all of its devious incarnations.
This time around, I'm turning the fucking cat around once again to talk about one of my favorite subjects. The darkest form of literature the world has ever known … CHILDREN'S BOOKS! That's right kids, nothing says trauma like a good scholastic panic-inducing read.
Don't believe me? I dare you to read any unabridged Grimm fairy tale to your freshly minted bundle o' love then join them in prayer with a George Orwell crucifix over the bed and see how many DSS infractions ensue. Hell, it's 2023 America. Your lightly enjoyed copy of Captain Underpants is being thrown into the same bin of contempt as Animal Farm and Catcher in the Rye...and remember, the latter two were required reading in High Schools across America back in the 80's.
Ah the 80's - when you didn't have to fuck off to your safe place just to get through Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
But alas, I'm not here to soliloquize about the impact of high-brow, provocative reading material such as the aforementioned titles above.
Instead, I want to zero in on one single, 96-page, chunk of pulp from the sadistic folks at Dell Publishing and their selection from the "Laurel Leaf Library" that might as well been the Gorgon Video of young adult literature back in the 1970's.
As the tagline warned: "When the fog came with its tiny dancing lights, the terrible things began..." And of course with that, I'm talking about Dale Carlson's THE PLANT PEOPLE!
Now interestingly enough, the title is listed as a "young Adult" novella (barely more than a short story to be fair) but it was solicited in grade school libraries across America back in 1977 so that those in kindergarten through 5th grade could enjoy the level of trauma usually reserved for their adult counterparts.
As it were, this book awaited me in my 2nd grade school library which was right off of the lunch room and thus transforming it into the equivalent of a video stores "adults only" section. With all the hyperbole presented so far, you're probably thinking that someone snuck in a novelization of Dawn of the Dead and slipped it between copies of Where Do Babies Come From and When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth....but to a seven year old like me at that time, The Plant People might as well have been.
On the surface, this is a straight up clean cut narrative that offers nothing new to the genre, but keeping in mind that little junior is the intended demographic, one can't help but notice how incredibly nihilistic the tone of this story was.
Someone over at Dell Publishing must have figured that the fastest way to a kids nightmares would be to add pictures to accompany this narrative, and its really what anyone talks about who digested this tale of woe way back then. The photographs provided by Chuck Freedman made you feel like you were reading a novelization of a movie that didn’t exist, …but should have!
Here we go, kids…the ill-fated tale of The Plant People.
Our story opens in the town of Cactus, Nevada, a half empty town of less than 200 civilians, out in the middle of a sprawling desert called Dry Valley. The inhabitants seem to have settled into their lives, never daring to be anything at all.
All that is, but one teenage boy who wants nothing more than to make Cactus a memory in his rearview.. Mike Ward aspires to be an Ethologist as he has a deep fascination to study animals in their own habitat, much to his father Paul's chagrin.
Paul Ward is depicted as an angry head-of-household type, and it's more than implied that he is emotionally abusive to his wife (and perhaps physically too). His wife Nancy barely speaks above a whisper to express her own feelings or opinions, even to the defense of her own two children. Mike’s little brother Jimmy on the other hand, has no problem encouraging his older brother to follow his dreams in spite of what anyone in Cactus may think.
Mike spends much of his time at the local horse stable, oblivious to the signals of Jenny, who pines for Mike's heart and attention. It's also of note that even though the author spends the time establishing that Jenny and Mike are a budding "thing", Mike spends the entirety of the story coming across as A-sexual. Even before the terror ensues, there’s no time for love, Dr. jones.
One random day while riding his mare across the barren landscape of Dry Valley, he sees a mysterious fog descend on the town of Cactus up ahead. The fog behaves as a sentient being, with cloudy tendrils that extend and augment seemingly with purpose. Inside the fog are described as tiny dancing lights. Unnaturally, the fog then crawls across the sky away from Cactus to parts unknown, cutting through Mike and his mare in it’s wake.
Though random and uncanny, there seem to be no other ill effects from the event. Dr. Peters, the only apparent doctor in Cactus, insists that medically, everyone is 100% fine. That is until, …THE FIRST CHANGE.
The next day, Mike wakes up and goes downstairs to find his mother and father at the breakfast table, acting less like themselves and more like something out of The Stepford Wives. Most of the townsfolk begin to change before Mike’s very eyes. Fist it starts with euphoric behavioral changes that appear to make day-to-day living more strangely pleasant, …especially considering Mike's home life.
Soon after, the townies begin a haunting pantomime routine of their former lives, almost in blissful mockery of their old routines and mannerisms. Smiling blindly as they do. Every so often a townie will stop to lovingly admire a random plant in the ground.
Mike and his friends, consisting of Sam Pearson, the stable owner, Charlie and Jonsie, the rattlesnake wranglers and Jenny, the cucked love interest, begin raising awareness of this catastrophe and their desire to seek help from the neighboring Carson City, a city described as much more equipped and prepared to handle a happening of this magnitude.
A town meeting held by Mayor Fletcher and Sheriff Carter dismisses the incident and determines that Cactus can handle their own problems with no outside help from "big city folk".
Mike and friends aren’t having it and secretly call Carson City from an abandoned sheriffs office. They talk to a detective, who deploys a helicopter to investigate, but upon arrival see that the townsfolk are all “happy” and “cooperative” and deem the visit a false alarm. As the helicopter leaves Cactus behind, all hope departs with it.
Things rapidly go from bad to worse as the townsfolk begin falling into a catatonic state. Staring out windows at the greenery outside and little else. Most have stopped talking or eating. It’s then that Mike notices the most horrific evolution when he gazed at his own mother’s hands and face - dark green veins, like that of a plant leaf, strewn across the changing texture of her skin as we enter, THE THIRD STAGE.
Why have only most of the town fallen prey to this infection but not everyone? Why were no animals effected? Where did the fog come from? Where did it go?
By now, all of the infected were wandering the town aimlessly, stopping at the sight of plant life. Their skin encrusted with dark veiny markings of a plant. Mike watched on as he felt someone grab his shoulder. It was Larry Borden, a friend from school. He was also infected, zombified and motioning for Mike to take him into Dry Valley. It was there that Larry knelt by a cactus plant and placed his hands upon it, and began to FEED. They feed from plant life. All of the infected - Now including, Mike’s little brother, Jimmy!
In desperation, Mike takes Jimmy to Carson City to meet with the doctor there (who goes nameless). Seeing Jimmy’s condition in the flesh prompted the doctor to contact Dr. Joe Blake, a friend from Washington who deemed the outbreak in Cactus a full blown epidemic , now coined “Cactus Disease”.
Jimmy’s blood samples yielded results that arrested the scientific community. His blood cells were transforming to those of a plant. The government was informed that “Cactus Disease” could not have been caused by anything on our planet. Finally, the situation was being taken seriously, but not in time to save THE LOST.
Back in Cactus, many of the infected begin to go missing. The few who were not effected by the disease formed search parties to find their loved ones. Mike and his friends pondered the events that had transpired. They feared that the town of Cactus was “attacked” by an alien force and that the fog infected certain people for a yet unknown reason, that there was a final stage to this occurrence that had yet to reveal itself.
Soon after, Mike discovered a cactus growing on the front walk. A slingshot dangled from its thorns. Jimmy’s slingshot.
That night, Mike, Jenny and friends raced to the outstretches of town, where the desert began. And it was there that they made their discovery. Jenny’s grandmother was standing there motionless. Her feet were already rooted into the ground. Rapidly she began to change. Her body stiffened, her skin turned cactus green, thorns sprouted from everywhere and then it was done. The final stage complete. This was the fate of all who had been infected and gone missing. They all became “Plant People” in the end.
In Washington, A state of emergency was declared and a race for a cure commenced. Many theories were abound. Perhaps Aliens were planning a fully fledged attack on our planet, but the oxygen levels were not high enough to sustain this alien race. Perhaps they used the town of Cactus as a “testing ground” to perform their experiment. By turning humans into plants, the oxygen levels would rise, deeming it safe for the aliens to attack.
Back in Cactus, Mike also had his theories. Perhaps only people who were negatively effecting the environment were targeted. His friends and he took care of animals, cared for the environment. Perhaps that’s why they were spared.
Mike followed what was now national news on television. Tsukuhara, Japan was attacked by the mysterious and deadly fog. Then England. Paris. Moscow. The world leaders settled their differences. The arms race halted. Enemies worked together in a race only for a cure for this growing pandemic.
A special news report interrupted all stations. A CURE HAS BEEN FOUND. Dr. Blake and his team of scientists have discovered “a simple remedy” that could cure everyone, as it was reported. “Just take - “ …
A fog covered the screen. In the fog were tiny dancing lights.
The screen went dead.
The end.
Yep. Storytime’s over, Kids. Time to go to bed. Sweet dreams n’ shit.
In 2023 I went on a search for this book, and eventually found an original print, lightly used softcover copy with the front cover image of a hand reaching high into the hot Nevada desert, while the lower half of the arm has turned into what looks like a rooted tree.
Considering it was 43 years since last I held this book in my hands, I was immediately surprised at how small this book was, both in dimension and in length. With pictures included, it was 93 pages long, and the extra-large print size was closer to what would cater to those with bad eyesight.
I was able to read The Plant People very quickly - barely 30 minutes cover to cover, and it was apparent that the book was written with little in terms of style or substance. It moved forward at a breakneck pace, never lingering on the impact of the horror. A very matter-of-fact narrative that literally completes the entire third act in about 5 pages.
Truth be told of this haunting affair, EVERYTHING about the impact of this book was predicated on how young and impressionable I was at the time I first read it. With the nostalgia removed from the influence of this review, it's a story that feels like it was also written by a seven year old as well as being intended for one.
But only in 1977 could someone write an apocalyptic tale of aliens taking away our humanity by turning us into Plant People by way of Night of the Living Dead, and pepper in the terror of loosing your entire family at a young age to malevolent forces beyond your control. Throw in subtext about emotional and physically abusive households, dirty politics and misinformation (that still goes on to this day), and ad a cherry on top of this hell and let everyone die on a global scale at the end via The Day After...
Then sell it to a kid the age of six, and call it education.
Somewhere out there in the universe, someone's father or mother, aunt or uncle, sister or brother may have read this cautionary tale of woe waaaay back when. And like me, they may have succumb to the doom and gloom that was presented in this prepubescent masterpiece (of ruling kids minds through abject terror).
On the bright, at least mom didn't give birth to a cactus and name it after you, kids! …OUCH!
See you next Clot!
D. Rook
30JUN23
